Study: Peers influence men in sexual abuse of women

Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 10, No. 1, 1995

Sexual Abuse in Canadian University and College
Dating Relationships: The Contribution of Male
Peer Support
Walter S. DeKeseredy I and Katharine Kelly 1
DeKeseredy (1988a,b, 1989a, 1990a) shows that having abusive male friends and peers who verbally encourage and legitimate female victimization increases the likelihood of both physical and psychological variants of woman abuse in university dating relationships. He also developed a theoretical model which explains how malepeer support contributes to these two behaviors as well as sexual abuse(DeKeseredy, 1988c).
His male peer support model is informed primarily by social support
theory which is a perspective generally used to explain how social integration
and the various resources provided by interpersonal relationships influence
people's ability to cope with stressful life events (Wills, 1985).
Although social support theory deals mainly with health issues and not specifically with the relationship between male peer group dynamics and sexual
assault, it is relevant to this problem.
For example, many men experience stress when their dating partners
refuse to have sexual relations with them (DeKeseredy and Schwartz, 1993).
Some men attempt to alleviate this stress themselves. Others, however, turn
to their male peers for advice on how to deal with sexual rejection. Informational support provided by male friends may influence men to sexually
abuse their partners; especially if they are defined as "teasers," "economic
exploiters," "bar pick-ups," and "loose women" who do not want to engage
in sexual intercourse (Kanin, 1985). Additionally, male homosocial cohorts
often provide sexually aggressive members with a "vocabulary of adjustment"
so that their actions do not alter their conceptions of themselves as
normal, respectable men (Kanin, 1967a).
DeKeseredy (1988c) also contends that male peer support can influence
the probability of woman abuse regardless of any type of dating-related
stress. In fact, most of the male peer support studies conducted so
far do not identify stress as a prerequisite for men interacting with male
friends or receiving pro-abuse support (DeKeseredy, 1990b). There are
many situations in which factors other than stress characteristic of malefemale
courting dynamics, such as leisure activities and work, integrate men
with other males who encourage sexual abuse. These are considered
" . . .violence-supporting social relations that may occur at any time and
any place" (Bowker, 1983, p. 136).
Behaving as part of the herd or gang of men, especially if that group supports the retaliation by men against women who refuse to "comply" with their sexual request/demands will naturally breed both contempt for those "unco-operative females, and enhanced desire for revenge and even more power, through abuse.
Men have names for women who refuse to "obey" and those names are not complimentary.
First, relationships that circle around the exercise of power over another human being are spiralling downwards. Men who are not taught this basic information are being short-changed, and so will their female partners be upon discovering that gap in their male partner's learning.
Next, group-think, in the form of gang-assumption of power offended or resisted, is another of the archetypes into which males, when threatened and vulnerable, escape at their peril.
Third, men need to be formally taught about the merits of mutual, respectful and integrated relationships different from those with other males. And the differences are substantial.
With males, competition, including all forms of satire, ridicule, dissing, and even embarrassment are the norm. This kind of irony, acting as an enemy or opponent and as competitor, is taken by the male conventional perceptions to be both normal and expected. In fact, men come to know they have been "accepted" when they are being ridiculed by their peers, inside the male circle.
However, relating with women, on the other hand, is precisely the opposite.
When a man resists an idea, a suggestion or a recommendation, another man is likely to ramp up the muscle behind the proposal.
However, when a woman resists a suggestion, request or proposal from a male, especially with respect to sexual relations, the man's only option is to respect the resistance, and in so doing, respect the female partner. What happens to a woman's body, as what happens to any person's body, is the exclusive business of that woman. That boundary is neither negotiable nor evil. It is there for very legitimate and supportable reasons. And to disrespect that boundary is to show disrespect both for the woman and for the male involved.
Elementary school curricula about "sex education" will not likely include this kind of topic, given the highly cultural component of its tradition and ethics.
Respect for the boundaries of "the other" is also, not incidentally, one of the basic learnings of any full education in any culture and ethnicity, or ought to be.